Lately I have been moving from focusing on narcissism and abuse to focusing on the inner journey that seems to result from narcissistic abuse among other things.  It is normally some deep personal crisis or intense inner pain that leads us into the cocoon where we cease to be our former caterpillar selves but have yet to sprout wings and become the butterfly.

The focus on transformation was a natural evolution of working with people who have arrived at this fragile state and in need of guidance in order to understand where they are now and where they are going.  Those who have been stung by the narcissist, can’t go back to life before they met him, or her.  It is a similar state as one who is facing a terminal illness, a death of a loved one, a rape or a tragedy of some sort.   Something has changed that can’t be unchanged.

I like to look at this journey as the journey of the caterpillar to the butterfly.  Once the caterpillar enters the chrysalis there is not going back.  He is wrapped in the web of the cocoon and the transformation process is underway.  This is the time where little seems to be happening on the outside.  It can feel very stagnant and slow yet very painful.  It can seem like not a lot is happening in ones life for the good.  This is because all the energy in ones life is being directed towards the inner transformation.  It is not a time for outer accomplishments, socialization and external appearances.  It is a time of hibernation, of withdrawing from life and the world and focusing ones energy inward. Read the rest of this entry »

This year my intention is to be much more real this year than I was last. The quest to know thyself and reveal what is authentic beneath the layers of the lies that must be shed. As I delve into the work of revealing the narcissist to the world, I must also reveal the narcissist within and once its disguise is exposed I find more of who I really am.

I was walking out in the snow this afternoon with my dogs, on the trail to the river, which takes us through a beautiful pine forest. My walks are often where I get my greatest inspiration and also the deepest messages from spirit. The realization that came to me today was “the one who tells the truth has the greatest personal power.”

I work with many people who feel very deceived in their relationships with a partner who lies to them and misleads them on a regular basis. It is easy to feel disempowered by the lack of honesty in the relationship. The best course of action to reclaim your personal power is to be honest with yourself, regardless of what the other is doing. The truth always comes out in the end.

The person telling the truth is real. While those who avoid the truth are living a lie. Lies are based on fear and insecurity. They are based on a desire to manipulate and fear of accountability. I realized that I have gained the most in my life from finding my authenticity. The more real I become the better my life gets. Read the rest of this entry »