In my musical life there has been one constant and that is people feeling that I need to write happy music.  Even today, after my Internet Concert I heard someone telling me.  “Now that you’ve taken the journey through darkness maybe you could start writing ‘happy’ music.”  I felt this was a good time to respond to this request.

There is a song out there we’ve all heard “Don’t Worry Be Happy!”  Its a bouncy little tune that has people singing and whistling along.  And it is really a wonderful song.  However it is not my song!  I’m not inspired by “Don’t Worry Be Happy!”  I am inspired by the passion of awakening!  That is what calls me into my studio to create music.  When I feel the build up of emotion welling up from deep within me I am drawn to express that emotion in the most powerful form I have; my music!

Being that I am a sensitive and psychically pick up the emotions of others, I have found my music to be a great outlet for expressing that energy as well.  For example; I wrote the song “Demon Lover” about the dark masculine archetype as a way of processing through all the energy accumulated session after session working with people who have been abused by someone with narcissistic personality disorder.  This is my field of work and I love it.  I love to help others to take that journey through darkness and back into the light.  And I find music to be a powerful part of this journey.  It helps to tap into and unlock emotions that have been supressed.  Someone who is struggling with the “demon lover” archetype could listen to that song and burst into tears, not because the song itself is sad, but because it expresses the very emotion they have been supressing for a long time.  Perhaps during their entire relationship they didn’t feel permission to express their pain and now that they are out they finally realize how much they have stuffed it down.  So the music lends itself to their process of tapping into and expressing emotion that needs to be released in order for healing to occur. Read the rest of this entry »

Last Friday night I went to one of those old historic Cathedrals where a woman leads a monthly labyrinth walk.  I first learned about walking the labyrinth over ten years ago when one was constructed on the property of the church I was attending.  The labyrinth is symbolic of our journey through life with its meandering path leading to the center, which represents our inner center.  As we exit the center and walk the path back to the entrance it represents our returning back to the world.

How we walk the labyrinth says a lot about how we walk through life.  When we walk with other people it is even more indicative of our journey through life and how we interact with others along the way.  Some will walk faster or slower, some will spend more time in the middle and what I found is that some will never even enter the Labyrinth at all.  They will remain on the outside, simply watching others walk.

Ellowa, the woman that lead the Labyrinth walk set up a beautiful environment with dim lighting, candles and her beautiful harp music.  She sat outside the labyrinth and played the harp as we journeyed. Read the rest of this entry »

Lately I have been moving from focusing on narcissism and abuse to focusing on the inner journey that seems to result from narcissistic abuse among other things.  It is normally some deep personal crisis or intense inner pain that leads us into the cocoon where we cease to be our former caterpillar selves but have yet to sprout wings and become the butterfly.

The focus on transformation was a natural evolution of working with people who have arrived at this fragile state and in need of guidance in order to understand where they are now and where they are going.  Those who have been stung by the narcissist, can’t go back to life before they met him, or her.  It is a similar state as one who is facing a terminal illness, a death of a loved one, a rape or a tragedy of some sort.   Something has changed that can’t be unchanged.

I like to look at this journey as the journey of the caterpillar to the butterfly.  Once the caterpillar enters the chrysalis there is not going back.  He is wrapped in the web of the cocoon and the transformation process is underway.  This is the time where little seems to be happening on the outside.  It can feel very stagnant and slow yet very painful.  It can seem like not a lot is happening in ones life for the good.  This is because all the energy in ones life is being directed towards the inner transformation.  It is not a time for outer accomplishments, socialization and external appearances.  It is a time of hibernation, of withdrawing from life and the world and focusing ones energy inward. Read the rest of this entry »