I’m sitting down at my computer with my breakfast of apples, nuts and seeds, at 11:30 in the morning on a Thursday and reflecting on what I wanted to write about today.  My life is no longer traditional.  I am so grateful that I can eat breakfast at 11am and do what I love to do with my life.  Write, sing and help others to discover what I am discovering.  That we are powerful beyond measure!

After what seems a lifetime of struggle I am finally finding success in my life!  It is not the kind of success that comes with a lot of money, expensive houses and cars.  I don’t have any of that right now.  Material wealth has never been my goal or my definition of success.  To me success is to be “self ruled!”  It is to make it through the obstacle course of life and with each obstacle find more of your true self.  In the end, when all is said and done that is all we have!  It is our true self we take with us.  It is what is ancient and eternal.  Everything else is just an illusion. 

I turned 48 this year and noticing signs of aging creeping up on me.  Like most women I would love to stop the clock but I must surrender to the process.  I must surrender that last piece of attachment to the physical.  “I am not my body!” 

Youth and beauty is worshipped in our culture and I learned at a very early age if I wasn’t pretty I wasn’t valued.  As a chubby kid with braces and glasses I was the target for everyone’s repressed self hatred.  I was the one they threw stones at!  I hated being so loathed and rejected!  I didn’t understand.  Why was I such an ugly duckling?  If only I could be beautiful people would love me, right?

So my quest became beauty!  I starved myself to an enviable thinness; I lost the glasses and the braces and grew to be five foot eight inches tall.  I was, in my day, fashion model material.  I was accepted by an agency in the City and learned how to make up and adorn myself to fit with societies ideal.  But something was missing.  Where was the happiness that seemed to be the promise of beauty?  Instead I suffered endless bad relationships, a life threatening eating disorder, extreme lack of self worth and struggle to succeed in anything I did.  Read the rest of this entry »

In my work with narcissism and abuse I see many cases of those who have no empathy for the experience of their children, parents, partners, wives, husbands and lovers.  There is nothing more painful for those highly senstive people who are so easily dumped on by one who is supposed to care for them. 

But what I have found is it is normally the highly sensitive empaths who find themselves getting involved with the energy vampires, the narcissists and those who take extreme advantage of these sensitive souls. 

Ironically we are talking about two opposite ends of the same spectrum.  An empath can sense and feel the energy of others.  If you are an empath and don’t know you are one, you may find yourself taking on a whole lot of other people’s stuff that has absolutely nothing to do with you. 

An empath is very compassionate because he or she actually feels what the other is feeling or not feeling.  What I mean by this is many very closed off narcissistic types are so out of touch with their feelings that they aren’t aware what is going on in their emotional landscape.  They tend to project their supressed emotions onto those closest to them and this tends to lead the empath into believing these toxic emotions are actually his or hers.  How confusing is that?  Very!

When empaths recognize their highly sensitive nature they can begin learning how to separate what is theirs from what is not.  This makes for much healthier relationships and much less emotional insanity. 

For more information on Empathy listen to my interview with Dr. Michael Smith from www.empathconnection.com on Tuesday August 4th at 7pm Pacific time. 

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/dispelling-the-myths

Don’t worry if you have missed this interview you can go there anyway and listen to the recorded version.

As I settled into the Peacock Ranch, a 27 acre retreat, I began to immediately feel the urge to push forward with my music.  I had let it go for the past two months while focusing on relocating.  Once I began to integrate my energy into the new homestead I felt as if I had been moved here for reasons I couldn’t quite know yet.  I had to trust in those reasons.  One of them was to complete my Emergence 2012 project.  In fact I didn’t even know Emergence 2012 was going to be the Title until this week.  I new I wanted my new CD to be called “Emergence” but when I asked the powers that be what this was all about I was given a clear message that the Emergence is our awakening into the new age that is coming beyond 2012.  2012 marks a portal where the earth is going through a major shift.  Nobody knows exactly what that shift is, but most agree that something major is coming.

2012 is the end of the Mayan Calendar and the Mayans were very knowledgeable about astrology, astronomy and tracking time.  They tracked time all the way up until December 21st, 2012.  The question most ask is why did it stop there?  The simple answer is maybe they had to stop somewhere and 2012 is as good a date as any.  But most feel it is far more complex than that.  2012 marks a time scientifically where the earth indeed is moving through a  mass of energy but what is that energy?  A researcher friend said that we will move through that mass of energy in a mili-second.  He is not at all biblical but when he told me that my mind went to the biblical phrase “Behold, I show you a mystery; We shall not all sleep, but we shall all be changed, In a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trump: for the trumpet shall sound, and the dead shall be raised incorruptible, and we shall be changed. ”

I remember back in the 90’s I studied Barbara Marx Hubbard s work and found it absolutely fascinating.  She talked of this very thing, this very time.  She paints a positive vision of humanity viewing us going into the Golden age of enlightenment.  There is so much talk of doom and gloom and the final days of humanity.

The final days philosophy makes sense because of the horrendous destruction mankind has done to the planet.  This has happened out of the selfishness, greed and unconsciousness of mankind.  This is the result of our disconnection to spirit and to the earth.  But there are two possibilities discussed by futurists examining the events of 2012.  One is that we are heading towards our destruction.  The other is we are in the process of our awakening to a “new human.”  Of course there is a third belief that absolutely nothing will change, we will keep on going through the portal of 2012 just like we did in the time of Y2K. Read the rest of this entry »

When we receive the wake-up call which has a mission to take us deeper into an experience where we are connected to God and to our true selves we often experience a death.  The death of our old self; the way we used to be; the way things were must be sacrificed in order to experience what is known as a rebirth.

I like to think of a butterfly in the chrysalis, or cocoon who must give up the experience of being a caterpillar in exchange for the experience of being a butterfly.  We would imagine the experience of being a butterfly to be so much more powerful because we are flying up in the sky, above it all, looking down on creation where we once used to crawl.

But in order for that caterpillar to undergo the transformation he must spend a time in the dark web of the cocoon.  This is a time where all outer activity comes to a halt and there is now only the inner process of transformation.  The caterpillar will never crawl again.  He will never know life in the same way again.  He must leave behind what was in order to have what is becoming. Read the rest of this entry »

Today I finally got a big piece of the puzzle that I have been trying to put together for some time.  I realize that the biggest challenge to stepping fully into our authentic selves is dispelling the forces of darkness in our lives.  Darkness truly is a force and it works through people.  The more unconscious one is the more they are channels for the dark energies.  Of course we often go between consciousness and unconsciousness.  We can all have moments of unconsciousness.  We can have moments where we take some action that is out of integrity or out of character for who we are striving to be.  These are times where we can recognize just how easy it is to allow the forces of darkness to take root.

If I could live by one rule; one spiritual law in my life it would be the Golden Rule; “Treat Others As You Want To Be Treated!”  If I find myself treating someone with less respect, less love, less compassion or less kindness than I would want in a particular situation than I am not fully living my truth.  The other side of the coin is “Expect Others to Treat You as You Would Treat Them!”  This means that we also pay attention to how we are being treated by others.

As we begin to rise up in our lives, have true success, and become more visible we can easily become targets for those who feel jealous, threatened or intimidated by us.  When one embodies these feelings he or she can lash out in attack in attempt to control us, to interfere with our success, and bring us down.  I know for myself I have had lots of lessons in dealing with these forces of darkness.  The more I dare to peak my head out, to use my voice and speak my truth the more I find myself in confronted by someone else s efforts to devalue, diminish or control me in some way. Read the rest of this entry »